The Spectrum of Abuse – Mills, Linda G.

Progressing through Mills (2008) writing on intimate partner violence (IPV), one of the useful ideas that arose is the spectrum of abuse.  This posits that there is not a universally-agreed scale of severity in IPV.   Impacts are thus dependent on the life experiences of the individuals involved within the context of their society.  What I found particularly useful here was the types of abuse clearly defined.  Mills (2008) outlines a non-exhaustive list that can be a launching point for exploration or discussion.  As suggested by Mills (2008), being able to name these and remove justifications for the abuse may provide an opportunity to remove their legitimacy (and their likelihood of being repeated).  The forms of abuse include:

Emotional Abuse: Undermining the emotional wellbeing of another, which can take on many forms.

Verbal Abuse: The use of words as weapons against others near us.  This can include shouting, cursing, and screaming at the other person, or the use of sarcastic remarks or insults.

Silence: Use of silence to convey a strong emotion or opinion of the other person (aka: the “silent treatment”).

Social Isolation: When one discourages or prevents their partner from seeing friends or family.  This may be through indirect or less than obvious means.

Manipulation: A common component of abuse directed at a partner, there is often a use of false promises. The cynicism that an individual making the false promise will followthrough on their promise may be a useful way to gauge manipulation.

Implied & Actual Threats: A proposition of consequences, harm, or undesirable actions that would come as an outcome of not complying with the abuser’s wishes or requests.

Addictive Behaviours: This can include both gambling and substance use (I would also consider other digital realms such as gaming addiction), as they have impacts on the relationship that are damaging to the partner (such as rage, financial hardship, and physical/emotional absence).

Neglect: A lack of vigilance for the wellbeing of others (an act of omission).  Individuals are placed in situations that are as, or more, dangerous than carried out direct acts of abuse.

Threatening Violence:  Use of words, gestures, or presence of weapons.

Physical Violence/Abuse: Physical, bodily harm, of another person, or placing them in a situation that puts them at risk of bodily harm.  All physical forms of abuse need to be viewed as significant.

Destruction of Property: Destruction of a partner’s property or item(s) they value.

Stalking: Following someone against their will.

Sexual Abuse: Coercing someone to engage in sexual activity against their will.  This can include direct force or emotional/verbal intimidation.

Systematically and Punitively Withholding Sex:  Revoking the connection a partner desires, or as a means to undermine the partner’s sense of self-worth.  This can be combined with the flaunting of an affair to further degrade the partner’s value/esteem and be used as a means to humiliate the partner.

 

References

Mills, L. G. (2009). Violent Partners A Breakthrough Plan for Ending the Cycle of Abuse. New York, NY: Basic Books.